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T O P I C R E V I E WChildofVenusAnd I mean any kind of relationship not just romantic. How does one go about controlling their jealousy that they feel in regards to the other person? For example not being jealous of the other persons friends. Or being jealous of the friendships the person has with other people.MarsSaturnDelightIf I am not jealous in a relationship, then I’m not that into you - I will move on.I find jealousy a turn on, it gets my attention if that person. Makes me work hard. But it’s never in a detrimental way.I’m never jealous of people or things. I attract that sort of shyte.ChildofVenus quote:Originally posted by MarsSaturnDelight:If I am not jealous in a relationship, then I’m not that into you - I will move on.I find jealousy a turn on, it gets my attention if that person. Makes me work hard. But it’s never in a detrimental way.I’m never jealous of people or things. I attract that sort of shyte.Are you like this in regards to friendships as well? That's the issue for me.MarsSaturnDelight quote:Originally posted by ChildofVenus: [QUOTE]Originally posted by MarsSaturnDelight:[b]If I am not jealous in a relationship, then I’m not that into you - I will move on.I find jealousy a turn on, it gets my attention if that person. Makes me work hard. But it’s never in a detrimental way.I’m never jealous of people or things. I attract that sort of shyte.Are you like this in regards to friendships as well? That's the issue for me.[/B][/QUOTE]No, never. But I attract it in bucket loads. implosionsThe trick is that jealousy is just another emotion.It's not the emotion you have to control. It's ya damn self. Jealousy doesn't last unless you feed it, chase it and ruminate on it- ie NOT letting the emotion run its course. Jealousy instigates us to try and exert a form of control- especially in a Scorpio's case, as it's one of our biggest emotions to overcome.At the end of the day, we're not invalids. No matter what type of relationship it is, check yourself. Jealousy is an emotion, feel yourself through it, don't act on it. ChildofVenus quote:Originally posted by implosions:The trick is that jealousy is just another emotion.It's not the emotion you have to control. It's ya damn self. Jealousy doesn't last unless you feed it, chase it and ruminate on it- ie NOT letting the emotion run its course. Jealousy instigates us to try and exert a form of control- especially in a Scorpio's case, as it's one of our biggest emotions to overcome.At the end of the day, we're not invalids. No matter what type of relationship it is, check yourself. Jealousy is an emotion, feel yourself through it, don't act on it. Thanks I agree but it’s hard not to act on it.ChildofVenus quote:Originally posted by implosions:The trick is that jealousy is just another emotion.It's not the emotion you have to control. It's ya damn self. Jealousy doesn't last unless you feed it, chase it and ruminate on it- ie NOT letting the emotion run its course. Jealousy instigates us to try and exert a form of control- especially in a Scorpio's case, as it's one of our biggest emotions to overcome.At the end of the day, we're not invalids. No matter what type of relationship it is, check yourself. Jealousy is an emotion, feel yourself through it, don't act on it. Thanks I agree but it’s hard not to act on it.ChildofVenus quote:Originally posted by implosions:The trick is that jealousy is just another emotion.It's not the emotion you have to control. It's ya damn self. Jealousy doesn't last unless you feed it, chase it and ruminate on it- ie NOT letting the emotion run its course. Jealousy instigates us to try and exert a form of control- especially in a Scorpio's case, as it's one of our biggest emotions to overcome.At the end of the day, we're not invalids. No matter what type of relationship it is, check yourself. Jealousy is an emotion, feel yourself through it, don't act on it. Thanks I agree but it’s hard not to act on it.anonymidarknessI just feel it, but don't act on it (usually) , I usually even let my partner know that I get jealous, they are mostly cool with it and try to playfully make me more jealous, and then it becomes just fun and games really.Hikaru29I don't normally get jealous with friends. If I feel jealousy, that means I feel for that person more than friends and there's nothing I can do about it. I just don't let it act out negatively like controlling etc, that's all.ana_bee quote:Originally posted by ChildofVenus:And I mean any kind of relationship not just romantic. How does one go about controlling their jealousy that they feel in regards to the other person? For example not being jealous of the other persons friends. Or being jealous of the friendships the person has with other people.I also always though that jealousy was a part of me and the most telling indicator that i’m really into this person.But now I see it a bit differently..When I’m jealous it stems from the fear of losing someone. And of course that fear most likely kicks in when I’m really into someone, but it’s not about that person! The person is in reality interchangeable. I am jealous because I feel a lack of something inside of me, because I don’t value myself enough. Because I feel that I am not enough.So in order to overcome that, we should work on our self-esteem. Plutonic people usually focus all their attention on that one person. They become the center of everything. No wonder one is afraid to lose that s.o. because what’s left then? So when I become jealous without reason, I acknowledge that emotion and turn my attention onto myself again. I meet other people and concentrate on activities that I really like. I do everything to feel good about myself again. Maybe that helps you, too.Good thing with Pluto is, we’re always open to the concept of self-actualization and transformation. We want to get better, we want to find the cause, the root of everything. So it won’t be too hard, to change one’s ways. Second good thing is, chances are high that everything we pursue we pursue with passion. What works for a love relationship also works in a hobby. You need to find something that interests you.. either working out, playing music, study a new language what ever really.. this will be your escape route. Whenever you feel jealous you redirect your energy towards that other love of yours. In that way you also won’t overwhelm other people. On top of that you won’t appear needy anymore or desperate. A person who pursues their interests seems always more attractive. winnertivanigrace quote:Originally posted by ChildofVenus:And I mean any kind of relationship not just romantic. How does one go about controlling their jealousy that they feel in regards to the other person? For example not being jealous of the other persons friends. Or being jealous of the friendships the person has with other people.I'm also the pluto person in my relationship. Jealousy drives me super crazy, It feels like burning my head and my heart. But I'm in the process of controlling it now. From the first time I know about this pluto thing in our relationship, I put it on my mind.So, everytime I got jealous and started to manipulate, I dictated my self on my mind "STOP, this is your pluto think. Is it worth it? It's not you, so Be realistic and STOP" lol Most of the times i stopped. Its my method to "knowing your own emotion". ry it. Sometimes it works.My other way is letting myself obsessed on another thing except him. Hobbies and activities. ScandinavianCrab quote:Originally posted by ana_bee: When I’m jealous it stems from the fear of losing someone. And of course that fear most likely kicks in when I’m really into someone, but it’s not about that person! The person is in reality interchangeable. I am jealous because I feel a lack of something inside of me, because I don’t value myself enough. Because I feel that I am not enough.Well spoken! LapisLagoonPluto conjunct Descendant here. Jealousy comes into nearly all my relationships and I've had a lot of instances of getting so attached I become addicted: get highs with them and crash so hard my skin crawls when they're away.What I've come to accept is, as was said earlier in the thread, jealousy is just another emotion. It's kind of like self-doubt. It's fine if it's there--it's human and it shows an awareness of yourself--but if you start listening to it and feeding into it, it will consume you. I look at my jealousy and tell myself it's normal and human. I don't need to listen to it, nor do I need to feel guilty about feeling it.If you're jealous of the time someone spending with their other friends, you probably want a deeper friendship with them. See if they want that too and, if not, you might want to distance yourself from them.If you feel like you're happy with the friendship you have now but still get jealous, it reflects on an insecurity that forms of love are a zero-sum game: someone giving it to another person means there's less for you. This isn't the case. It'll take a lot of positive self-talk and mentally reviewing all the things this person does do with you and how they are attentive and caring of your needs to convince yourself otherwise.Pluviophile123Well I don’t have “friends” lol, just close family members and an occasional boyfriend. But anyway, my jealousy only gets activated with my boyfriend and the opposite sex. No matter what I know it’s gonna be there so I don’t try to hide or mask it completely. I let it be known from the get go I’m very jealous and possessive and if that’s a problem then sorry, no can do :/ I know many people will think that sounds horrible and unfair and unhealthy and all I can say is.... yeah, it is. Lol. The only thing that has really helped at least “curb” my domineering qualities is having a partner that understands how I am and does his best to not let those types of feelings incite in me.RandallBump!GrahamComment deleted.Mystic~MelodyPluviophile said: "No matter what I know it’s gonna be there so I don’t try to hide or mask it completely. I let it be known from the get go I’m very jealous and possessive and if that’s a problem then sorry, no can do :/ I know many people will think that sounds horrible and unfair and unhealthy and all I can say is.... yeah, it is. Lol. The only thing that has really helped at least “curb” my domineering qualities is having a partner that understands how I am and does his best to not let those types of feelings incite in me."I agree. I also agree with anna that it is because you make this person your whole world so the thought of losing them means, "What then?" but that just means to me that I need someone who feels the same. I've come to see it as almost a wise way to think given the condition of the world, chaotic cosmic energies in play, and the general condition of the souls out there in the world who would monopolize a challenging situation between people for their own gain. Business has been taking advantage of people in troubled times for ages. This world tends towards becoming an hierarchical corporation in the way people live and view one another. The "way you are supposed to be" is pushed into tired and weak minds through popular culture and media constantly. The majority of humans today seem to be looking to climb the invisible ladder, to get more no matter the cost to others, to protect "what's theirs" in terms of material security. I want to protect my daughter's life and her soul, and her innocence. I want to protect the softness and openness and innocence of my partnership. No one bats an eye if someone wants to protect their belongings with a lock on a locker or a safe or a security system on their car or house... but somehow it is a sign of weakness to want to protect those you love the most? I have been through the darkest times in my life, sometimes things have been so cloudy and I have felt so down on myself that I feel unlovable and think my closest loved ones might not really love me. Is it true? No. But that doesn't stop the confused or dark thoughts. If this world was filled with people of integrity and honor and cities full of light and love, I wouldn't have to worry about going out into it or my family going out into it. But, it isn't. So if I have to observe the character and integrity of people who are trying to find a way to latch on to my loved ones or family, to wait like spiders for the perfect moment of weakness, I'll do it. Things aren't valuable to me, but people and time ARE valuable to me. So, I will protect those valuables. The world can call it jealousy and a character flaw, but I call it: "I'm WATCHING YOU, Human! You better have true, decent, honorable and FAIR intentions or you are staying away from my loved ones!"As for advice, the most important thing is to make sure YOU have true, decent, honorable, and fair intentions. If you do, you aren't wrong or bad or someone with a character flaw. If you are unsure, meditate/pray on it to get a clear answer. Don't let society or popular culture dictate to you that you should care more about your material goods than your loved ones in the name of being "healthy" and "successful". F that.RandallBump!StawrI don't mind a little jealousy and possessiveness with a significant other...but when friends do this I get weirded out. Oh if another friend does this when I interact with their friend it gives me the creeps.For example my husband has so much earth in his chart as well as detached air signs. So when his jealously/possessive side comes out I kind of get an adrenaline rush.We have moon conjunct plutopluto conjunct plutolilith conjunct plutoelectra conjunct plutoic square plutoMc square plutonn square plutosn square plutoHe is more like "no one should be calling you beautiful but me" "im plugging that hole" "hey other guys at the bar shouldn't be buying your drinks, that's my job" The type of jealousy I dislike that I've experienced in the past is the guy being threatened that I am putting effort into my appearance. The mentality that if I don't look like a scrub then I am trying to look good for someone else. ChildofVenus.
I find jealousy a turn on, it gets my attention if that person. Makes me work hard. But it’s never in a detrimental way.
I’m never jealous of people or things. I attract that sort of shyte.
quote:Originally posted by MarsSaturnDelight:If I am not jealous in a relationship, then I’m not that into you - I will move on.I find jealousy a turn on, it gets my attention if that person. Makes me work hard. But it’s never in a detrimental way.I’m never jealous of people or things. I attract that sort of shyte.
quote:Originally posted by ChildofVenus: [QUOTE]Originally posted by MarsSaturnDelight:[b]If I am not jealous in a relationship, then I’m not that into you - I will move on.I find jealousy a turn on, it gets my attention if that person. Makes me work hard. But it’s never in a detrimental way.I’m never jealous of people or things. I attract that sort of shyte.
No, never. But I attract it in bucket loads.
It's not the emotion you have to control. It's ya damn self. Jealousy doesn't last unless you feed it, chase it and ruminate on it- ie NOT letting the emotion run its course. Jealousy instigates us to try and exert a form of control- especially in a Scorpio's case, as it's one of our biggest emotions to overcome.
At the end of the day, we're not invalids. No matter what type of relationship it is, check yourself. Jealousy is an emotion, feel yourself through it, don't act on it.
quote:Originally posted by implosions:The trick is that jealousy is just another emotion.It's not the emotion you have to control. It's ya damn self. Jealousy doesn't last unless you feed it, chase it and ruminate on it- ie NOT letting the emotion run its course. Jealousy instigates us to try and exert a form of control- especially in a Scorpio's case, as it's one of our biggest emotions to overcome.At the end of the day, we're not invalids. No matter what type of relationship it is, check yourself. Jealousy is an emotion, feel yourself through it, don't act on it.
quote:Originally posted by ChildofVenus:And I mean any kind of relationship not just romantic. How does one go about controlling their jealousy that they feel in regards to the other person? For example not being jealous of the other persons friends. Or being jealous of the friendships the person has with other people.
I also always though that jealousy was a part of me and the most telling indicator that i’m really into this person.But now I see it a bit differently..
When I’m jealous it stems from the fear of losing someone. And of course that fear most likely kicks in when I’m really into someone, but it’s not about that person! The person is in reality interchangeable. I am jealous because I feel a lack of something inside of me, because I don’t value myself enough. Because I feel that I am not enough.
So in order to overcome that, we should work on our self-esteem. Plutonic people usually focus all their attention on that one person. They become the center of everything. No wonder one is afraid to lose that s.o. because what’s left then?
So when I become jealous without reason, I acknowledge that emotion and turn my attention onto myself again. I meet other people and concentrate on activities that I really like. I do everything to feel good about myself again.
Maybe that helps you, too.Good thing with Pluto is, we’re always open to the concept of self-actualization and transformation. We want to get better, we want to find the cause, the root of everything. So it won’t be too hard, to change one’s ways. Second good thing is, chances are high that everything we pursue we pursue with passion. What works for a love relationship also works in a hobby. You need to find something that interests you.. either working out, playing music, study a new language what ever really.. this will be your escape route. Whenever you feel jealous you redirect your energy towards that other love of yours. In that way you also won’t overwhelm other people. On top of that you won’t appear needy anymore or desperate. A person who pursues their interests seems always more attractive.
I'm also the pluto person in my relationship. Jealousy drives me super crazy, It feels like burning my head and my heart. But I'm in the process of controlling it now. From the first time I know about this pluto thing in our relationship, I put it on my mind.
So, everytime I got jealous and started to manipulate, I dictated my self on my mind "STOP, this is your pluto think. Is it worth it? It's not you, so Be realistic and STOP" lol
Most of the times i stopped. Its my method to "knowing your own emotion". ry it. Sometimes it works.
My other way is letting myself obsessed on another thing except him. Hobbies and activities.
quote:Originally posted by ana_bee: When I’m jealous it stems from the fear of losing someone. And of course that fear most likely kicks in when I’m really into someone, but it’s not about that person! The person is in reality interchangeable. I am jealous because I feel a lack of something inside of me, because I don’t value myself enough. Because I feel that I am not enough.
Well spoken!
What I've come to accept is, as was said earlier in the thread, jealousy is just another emotion. It's kind of like self-doubt. It's fine if it's there--it's human and it shows an awareness of yourself--but if you start listening to it and feeding into it, it will consume you. I look at my jealousy and tell myself it's normal and human. I don't need to listen to it, nor do I need to feel guilty about feeling it.
If you're jealous of the time someone spending with their other friends, you probably want a deeper friendship with them. See if they want that too and, if not, you might want to distance yourself from them.
If you feel like you're happy with the friendship you have now but still get jealous, it reflects on an insecurity that forms of love are a zero-sum game: someone giving it to another person means there's less for you. This isn't the case. It'll take a lot of positive self-talk and mentally reviewing all the things this person does do with you and how they are attentive and caring of your needs to convince yourself otherwise.
I agree. I also agree with anna that it is because you make this person your whole world so the thought of losing them means, "What then?" but that just means to me that I need someone who feels the same. I've come to see it as almost a wise way to think given the condition of the world, chaotic cosmic energies in play, and the general condition of the souls out there in the world who would monopolize a challenging situation between people for their own gain. Business has been taking advantage of people in troubled times for ages. This world tends towards becoming an hierarchical corporation in the way people live and view one another. The "way you are supposed to be" is pushed into tired and weak minds through popular culture and media constantly. The majority of humans today seem to be looking to climb the invisible ladder, to get more no matter the cost to others, to protect "what's theirs" in terms of material security. I want to protect my daughter's life and her soul, and her innocence. I want to protect the softness and openness and innocence of my partnership. No one bats an eye if someone wants to protect their belongings with a lock on a locker or a safe or a security system on their car or house... but somehow it is a sign of weakness to want to protect those you love the most? I have been through the darkest times in my life, sometimes things have been so cloudy and I have felt so down on myself that I feel unlovable and think my closest loved ones might not really love me. Is it true? No. But that doesn't stop the confused or dark thoughts. If this world was filled with people of integrity and honor and cities full of light and love, I wouldn't have to worry about going out into it or my family going out into it. But, it isn't. So if I have to observe the character and integrity of people who are trying to find a way to latch on to my loved ones or family, to wait like spiders for the perfect moment of weakness, I'll do it. Things aren't valuable to me, but people and time ARE valuable to me. So, I will protect those valuables. The world can call it jealousy and a character flaw, but I call it: "I'm WATCHING YOU, Human! You better have true, decent, honorable and FAIR intentions or you are staying away from my loved ones!"
As for advice, the most important thing is to make sure YOU have true, decent, honorable, and fair intentions. If you do, you aren't wrong or bad or someone with a character flaw. If you are unsure, meditate/pray on it to get a clear answer. Don't let society or popular culture dictate to you that you should care more about your material goods than your loved ones in the name of being "healthy" and "successful". F that.
For example my husband has so much earth in his chart as well as detached air signs. So when his jealously/possessive side comes out I kind of get an adrenaline rush.We have moon conjunct plutopluto conjunct plutolilith conjunct plutoelectra conjunct plutoic square plutoMc square plutonn square plutosn square pluto
He is more like "no one should be calling you beautiful but me" "im plugging that hole" "hey other guys at the bar shouldn't be buying your drinks, that's my job"
The type of jealousy I dislike that I've experienced in the past is the guy being threatened that I am putting effort into my appearance. The mentality that if I don't look like a scrub then I am trying to look good for someone else.
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